[Once Silver has recovered from his breakdown, he realizes how embarrassing it was. Crying like a child in front of everyone. He just wants to melt into a puddle and escape down a drain.
But since he can't do that, he's heading up to the roof, where he can maybe be alone with his thoughts and shame. He sits with his knees to his chest, messing with his EyePhone... deleting the crime scene photos. He doesn't want them, and they don't need them any more...]
[ It's too bad boxes can't melt. They can however fold up neatly, which is how Alcor is on the highest point of the roof, knees pulled up to his chest. He's pretty quiet for the most part, but at some point there's a distinct swishing sound in the air.
...is he swinging Sandalphon's sword in the air telekinetically? He totally is. ]
[ If he noticed the sigh there's no indication, but he is twirling the sword now. ]
I do not see it as a mistake. It is what he desired, no matter how illogical or wrong it may seem to others. Opinions vary, as does morality. I respected his will irregardless of the way he chose to express it.
Well, I'm not going to argue with you about that... it's a moot point now, anyway. [he sighs, this time for himself, and sits again, knees up to his chest, looking out into the forest beyond the yard] Maybe when they kill us all, we'll all get to go home after all.
[Silver looks away, hiding his face behind his knees]
After that performance? ... well... [the forums did seem to indicate a shift in their favor, but he can't say anything about that out loud. Still. When the hell has the Foundation ever cared about what the agents think? The opinions of a few A-class and the O5s were all that mattered] Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if we stepped off this site directly into a gas chamber. I'm just... trying to plan for what happens next.
In what way? Acceptance is not planning. [ Teleporting directly below the moon, he either hasn't noticed the shift in Silver's body language or is choosing to ignore it. ]
You can't start to make a plan until you accept what's going to happen. Anyway... it's not really me I'm worried about... I'm not important, and I don't belong here, anyway. But there are some people that the machine brought in... even if they do go home, all they have waiting for them there is misery and death. [he shakes his head, balling up tighter] They shouldn't have to suffer because we fucked up.
[ Looking directly at the ball that is now Silver. ]
Trials and judgements are never fair. Making a perfect system is impossible, even for the Almighty. It is the actions you choose after that decide your fate. Whether you give up or choose to live.
I know. [ Resolute, just how he was during trial. ]
But you are wrong in thinking your choices are irrelevant. A single will may be like a drop of water, but a sea of them can create an ocean, a tide that erodes the system.
Been more of a pessimistic realist, I guess? [he sighs] Though in the end I don't know if THAT matters, either. I just wouldn't be hurting so much now.
[sorry starfriend, Silver is an ineloquent teenager]
I mean. I thought I'd hurt before... but that was... that was just a drop in the bucket. .... I wonder if this is how that other me felt... the one who was trapped in that fiery, ruined world.
[ By now he's settled on the roof again, sword still at his side. He tilts his head letting the silence hopefully speak for itself—if he were in a better state of mind he would ask directly, but willingness to listen is the best he can offer right now. ]
[Silver continues, resting his muzzle and nose on his knees, but hiding his mouth behind them]
I don't remember it, because the timeline was erased completely. Maybe it was a different "me" entirely. I don't know. I only know about it because it was... a game. In this world. [Silver shakes his head. It doesn't bother him, but it's still weird to say aloud] His world was ruined by an immortal fire demon called Iblis. For 200 years it had been raging -- it could be stopped for a little while, but it would always come back, stronger than before. There was no hope... no chance anything would ever get better...
Yeah... But I think because of my interaction with the complete demon, Solaris... I don't really belong to any time. My world where I live, where I remember growing up, was peaceful. But I get flashes, visions... sometimes I even wake up in entirely different realities where everything has gone to hell again for some reason.
[ It might be hard to see under the night sky, but he's frowning here. ]
Time will always try to reassert itself. I am...it is difficult, perhaps impossible to correct completely. But all I can do is make attempts, no matter how feeble they are...
[ So it turns out they might have something in common after all besides the floating thing. ]
... Because sometimes when you feel alone, like no one understands you... [he reaches out and puts his hand on the metal cage thing] ... someone just being there and touching you is comforting. I'm sorry, Alcor. No one deserves to have to live through something like that.
[ Ah. There's no physical reaction from the box for a while, but then the square inside starts to slowly rotate on an angle. It's probably a good thing? ]
I...I am used to being alone. But after having friends and then being alone again I...I do not like it. It is a very unpleasant feeling.
[ ... ]
You are not human, but you touch to communicate as well. Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking it was an activity mainly performed between familial bonds and as courtship.
It's hard to miss what you don't know. But once you know, you can never go back.
[Silver looks away, but it's more embarrassment than anything]
I... have been told I'm kind of "touchy feely". I like to be in contact with people, even if we're not super close... I may not be human, but I'm still a person. Every person has different levels of what they're comfortable with.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
WEEK 3
Saturday night
But since he can't do that, he's heading up to the roof, where he can maybe be alone with his thoughts and shame. He sits with his knees to his chest, messing with his EyePhone... deleting the crime scene photos. He doesn't want them, and they don't need them any more...]
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...is he swinging Sandalphon's sword in the air telekinetically? He totally is. ]
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.... and he doesn't want to accidentally get decapitated, so it's best that Alcor knows he's up there]
... Hey. Alcor. I'm up here, too. Just.. be careful where you're swinging that.
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Swords are unfamiliar to me, but telekinetic control is the opposite. I will stay clear of your area.
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He keeps to himself for a long while, fiddling with his phone, checking the forums... but finally he says something]
You guys were close, huh.
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[ And if Silver remembers their conversation from last week, that means a whole lot. ]
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I understand why you tried to protect him... but why didn't you try to stop him?
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Free will is the greatest gift of all. I would never deprive anyone of it, especially someone I cherish.
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I see. He had made his choice... and you wanted to respect that.
[putting aside for a moment that the choice in question was to murder someone... it does make some kind of sense]
..... I guess sometimes you gotta let your friends do what they want to do, even if they're making a mistake.
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[ If he noticed the sigh there's no indication, but he is twirling the sword now. ]
I do not see it as a mistake. It is what he desired, no matter how illogical or wrong it may seem to others. Opinions vary, as does morality. I respected his will irregardless of the way he chose to express it.
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After that performance? ... well... [the forums did seem to indicate a shift in their favor, but he can't say anything about that out loud. Still. When the hell has the Foundation ever cared about what the agents think? The opinions of a few A-class and the O5s were all that mattered] Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if we stepped off this site directly into a gas chamber. I'm just... trying to plan for what happens next.
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Trials and judgements are never fair. Making a perfect system is impossible, even for the Almighty. It is the actions you choose after that decide your fate. Whether you give up or choose to live.
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But you are wrong in thinking your choices are irrelevant. A single will may be like a drop of water, but a sea of them can create an ocean, a tide that erodes the system.
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Is that so. [ Silver shakes his head ] I feel like I’ve wasted so much time trying to always be hopeful....
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[ Partially. Alcor has reasons for saying what he does, but sometimes they're hidden, even to himself. ]
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[ Quieter and heavy. ]
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It sucks.
[sorry starfriend, Silver is an ineloquent teenager]
I mean. I thought I'd hurt before... but that was... that was just a drop in the bucket. .... I wonder if this is how that other me felt... the one who was trapped in that fiery, ruined world.
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[ By now he's settled on the roof again, sword still at his side. He tilts his head letting the silence hopefully speak for itself—if he were in a better state of mind he would ask directly, but willingness to listen is the best he can offer right now. ]
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I don't remember it, because the timeline was erased completely. Maybe it was a different "me" entirely. I don't know. I only know about it because it was... a game. In this world. [Silver shakes his head. It doesn't bother him, but it's still weird to say aloud] His world was ruined by an immortal fire demon called Iblis. For 200 years it had been raging -- it could be stopped for a little while, but it would always come back, stronger than before. There was no hope... no chance anything would ever get better...
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Did they ever escape from that fate?
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Sonic and a princess named Elise went back in time and snuffed out the demon before he had a chance to grow powerful. Which erased the whole timeline.
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Yeah... But I think because of my interaction with the complete demon, Solaris... I don't really belong to any time. My world where I live, where I remember growing up, was peaceful. But I get flashes, visions... sometimes I even wake up in entirely different realities where everything has gone to hell again for some reason.
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Time will always try to reassert itself. I am...it is difficult, perhaps impossible to correct completely. But all I can do is make attempts, no matter how feeble they are...
[ So it turns out they might have something in common after all besides the floating thing. ]
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So you've tried to fix the present by going to the past, too, huh...
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[ ...so both? ]
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Pretty darn annoying, isn't it.
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Having to witness the two most important people in the world to me die and subsequently become erased from all time streams is...
[ There's no word for it. Also he's kinda having a moment so he sure is popping into box form. This is fine. ]
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.... Do you mind if I touch you?
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I...I am used to being alone. But after having friends and then being alone again I...I do not like it. It is a very unpleasant feeling.
[ ... ]
You are not human, but you touch to communicate as well. Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking it was an activity mainly performed between familial bonds and as courtship.
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[Silver looks away, but it's more embarrassment than anything]
I... have been told I'm kind of "touchy feely". I like to be in contact with people, even if we're not super close... I may not be human, but I'm still a person. Every person has different levels of what they're comfortable with.
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[ Boxes don't have eyes so at least there's no staring at least? ]
You are you, just like I am me. [ That sounds like it's for both their benefit. ]
I do not mind it, but it is a new feeling. But I enjoy new experiences, always.