SCP R4 > Ingway

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WEEK 3

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Saturday night

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[Honestly, Silver doesn't really want to see anyone right now. He's exhausted, he's depressed, and he's completely and utterly mortified by how shamefully he acted during the trial. Breaking down into tears like some stupid kid... honestly.

But he owed it to Ingway to at least see what the alchemist prince had in mind]

... Hey.

[darkova]

Hello, Silver. How are you feeling?

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.....

Stupid. Tired. Sad. Angry at myself for being losing it in the studio. But mostly tired and stupid.

[darkova]

You're not stupid, Silver. None of us caught on to what they were planning.

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But I should have.... I should have been able to protect her... to keep Sandalphon from feeling like he had to do this... but I was too busy being upset about Goro.

[darkova]

And who decided you are your housemate's keeper?

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[that makes him pause] W... well... I did...? I should be able to... to notice things like that... with everyone.

[darkova]

For people you have known for 3 weeks? Silver... in life we do what we can for those we care for. But in death, each man and woman is alone with their choices.

Sandalphon has only himself to blame for what he did.

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But we have ourselves to blame for not stopping it somehow... I... [Silver frowns] I don't care what happens to me... I don't matter. But I don't want our mistakes to result in everyone else being killed...

[darkova]

Will you save the world all alone? Are you that powerful?

[He's not mocking him- just asking him to think his feelings through]

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I...

....


[Silver looks at his hand, then lets it drop to one side]

.... No. I'm not. I wish I was.

[darkova]

We all do. Gods... we all do.

[He sighs... then lightly strokes Silver's head spines. A little awkward, but the feeling is earnest]

There is something else I would like to talk with you about.

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[Silver doesn't make any movement to stop him, at least. Maybe being petted like a dog is embarrassing too, but whatever -- it feels good]

....? What is it?

[darkova]

The last two days... Silver, have you ever had emotional attacks like that before?

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[Silver folds his arms defensively around himself, looking away]

... No. I... don't think I've ever felt that way, before. Not that I remember.

[but for some reason it felt familiar]

[darkova]

I am not here to shame you. When I was near your age I had... similar fits. Panic, screaming, exhaustion. Overwhelming guilt. If you will allow it, I may be able to help?

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.... if I could stop feeling this way, that would be great...

[darkova]

I do not know if I can do that- but here.

[He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a vial]

If you feel panic in your chest, place a drop of this on your tongue. It will not kill the grief, but it may dull the physical reactions some.

[It's a potion made from the scp weed- but all the high effects are gone. Now it's just a sedative]

No more than that.

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[Silver takes the vial in his hand, looking at it curiously. Then, he closes his hand over it and nods]

Just a drop if I feel panicked... Ok...

[he bends down and slips it inside his boot]

Thank you, Ingway.

[darkova]

I am sorry I can't offer more. COmfort is not a strong point of mine.

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[Silver gives him a small smile]

That's ok. We all have our strengths.