[Honestly, Silver doesn't really want to see anyone right now. He's exhausted, he's depressed, and he's completely and utterly mortified by how shamefully he acted during the trial. Breaking down into tears like some stupid kid... honestly.
But he owed it to Ingway to at least see what the alchemist prince had in mind]
But I should have.... I should have been able to protect her... to keep Sandalphon from feeling like he had to do this... but I was too busy being upset about Goro.
For people you have known for 3 weeks? Silver... in life we do what we can for those we care for. But in death, each man and woman is alone with their choices.
Sandalphon has only himself to blame for what he did.
But we have ourselves to blame for not stopping it somehow... I... [Silver frowns] I don't care what happens to me... I don't matter. But I don't want our mistakes to result in everyone else being killed...
I am not here to shame you. When I was near your age I had... similar fits. Panic, screaming, exhaustion. Overwhelming guilt. If you will allow it, I may be able to help?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carisma_sensei
WEEK 3
Date: 2019-07-14 02:07 am (UTC)Saturday night
Date: 2019-07-14 02:09 am (UTC)But he owed it to Ingway to at least see what the alchemist prince had in mind]
... Hey.
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Date: 2019-07-14 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:17 am (UTC)Stupid. Tired. Sad. Angry at myself for being losing it in the studio. But mostly tired and stupid.
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Date: 2019-07-14 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:32 am (UTC)Sandalphon has only himself to blame for what he did.
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Date: 2019-07-14 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 02:36 am (UTC)[He's not mocking him- just asking him to think his feelings through]
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Date: 2019-07-14 02:42 am (UTC)....
[Silver looks at his hand, then lets it drop to one side]
.... No. I'm not. I wish I was.
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Date: 2019-07-14 02:45 am (UTC)[He sighs... then lightly strokes Silver's head spines. A little awkward, but the feeling is earnest]
There is something else I would like to talk with you about.
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Date: 2019-07-14 03:02 am (UTC)....? What is it?
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Date: 2019-07-14 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 03:06 am (UTC)... No. I... don't think I've ever felt that way, before. Not that I remember.
[but for some reason it felt familiar]
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Date: 2019-07-14 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 03:15 am (UTC)[He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a vial]
If you feel panic in your chest, place a drop of this on your tongue. It will not kill the grief, but it may dull the physical reactions some.
[It's a potion made from the scp weed- but all the high effects are gone. Now it's just a sedative]
No more than that.
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Date: 2019-07-14 03:19 am (UTC)Just a drop if I feel panicked... Ok...
[he bends down and slips it inside his boot]
Thank you, Ingway.
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Date: 2019-07-14 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-14 03:25 am (UTC)That's ok. We all have our strengths.